Last Updated on September 16, 2023 by Reiner Chase
Men may have long-term affairs due to various reasons, including dissatisfaction in their current relationship (estimated at 22% of affairs), seeking emotional connection (about 44%), or seeking novelty and excitement (approximately 23%), according to research. Affairs can provide an escape from relationship issues or unmet needs.
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Why Men Have Long-Term Affairs
While every individual and relationship is unique, certain factors often contribute to why some men engage in long-term affairs. It’s crucial to note that this behavior is not exclusive to men; both genders can be unfaithful. Here are the seven common reasons:
1. Emotional Dissatisfaction
The desire for emotional intimacy often drives men to long-term affairs. Men who are not emotionally fulfilled in their current relationships may seek satisfaction in another person who appreciates and understands them better.
2. Existence of Opportunity
Like many situations in life, affairs can occur simply because an opportunity arises. Whether through work, social networks, or online platforms, men may find opportunities for long-term affairs.
3. Inadequate Sexual Satisfaction
Sexual dissatisfaction is another common reason. If a man is not sexually fulfilled in their current relationship, they may get attracted to another person who fulfills their sexual needs.
| Factors | Description |
|---|---|
| Emotional Dissatisfaction | Men may have affairs due to lacking emotional intimacy in their current relationships. |
| Existence of Opportunity | Opportunities through work, social networks, or online platforms can lead to long-term affairs. |
| Inadequate Sexual Satisfaction | Lack of sexual fulfillment within a relationship could induce infidelity. |
4. Existential Crisis
Some men may use affairs as a misguided attempt to affirm their masculinity or to deal with fears related with aging or loss of youth.
5. Addiction
Men prone to addictive behaviors may treat affairs as another form of thrill-seeking, using the adrenaline rush, novelty, and the sense of conquest as an escape.
6. Boredom or Need for Variety
Some may start an affair simply due to boredom or a desire for variety, finding the allure of a new relationship exciting compared to the mundanity of their existing relationship.
7. Lack of Communication
When there’s a decline in communication about needs, emotions, and problems, it can create unfulfilled desires. Some men may find it easier to share or connect emotionally with another person, leading to an affair.
| Factors | Description |
|---|---|
| Existential Crisis | Fear of aging or loss of masculinity can lead some men to engage in affairs. |
| Addiction | Some men, especially those prone to addiction, might see affairs as another thrill-seeking endeavor. |
| Boredom or Need for Variety | A desire for excitement or variety may lead to infidelity. |
| Lack of Communication | If a relationship lacks clear, open communication, it can lead to affairs owing to unfulfilled desires. |
In conclusion, understanding the reasons behind long-term affairs could help in addressing issues within a relationship. Open communication, emotional understanding, and mutual fulfillment of desires can go a long way in maintaining a healthy relationship. However, it’s also crucial to remember that regardless of the reasons, affairs reflect decisions made by individuals who choose to betray their partners.
Do Long-Term Affairs Mean To Love?
Long-term affairs don’t always mean that a man doesn’t love his wife. The reasons why men have long-term affairs are complex and vary from person to person, but it is important for wives not to take the infidelity personally because it may be an indication of other problems in the marriage. Men who do commit long-term adultery usually feel bad about themselves and their actions, which often leads them into depression or alcoholism if they were already suffering from either condition before they started up with someone on the side. This can then lead to more serious issues such as suicide attempts by these men feeling like there’s no escape from what they’ve done.
If you want your husband or partner back after he has had a long affair, you need to first understand why he had the affair in the first place. Understanding what led him into this type of behavior, whether it’s a deep-rooted psychological condition or just a lack of attention and intimacy at home, can help you know how best to get your man back.
Some wives might think that by getting their husband drunk again they will be able to seduce them back into an intimate moment but this often leads to further rejection from men who are going through post-divorce trauma as well as feeling even more rejected for not being properly respected during his marriage when long term affairs were happening behind her back all along. These women need to look deeper than just trying alcohol and sex in order to heal themselves psychologically after such a traumatic event occurs which will not only help them heal but will also give their husbands back the ability to trust again.
How Long Do Extramarital Affairs Usually Last?
As with any kind of relationship, the length varies depending on many factors. Some extramarital affairs last for years and some only last a few months or weeks. It really does depend on how long each person is willing to put up with these kinds of relationships without getting too emotionally invested in them which will inevitably lead to their eventual demise.
Why Do Guys Have Extramarital Affairs?
Men need to look deeper than just trying alcohol and sex in order to heal themselves psychologically after such a traumatic event occurring which will not only help them heal but will also give their husbands back the ability to trust again.
Some people experience extramarital affairs as an escape from unhealthy relationships, or because they are unhappy with other aspects of their lives that do not include physical intimacy. Other men may have more sexual motivations for having these types of relationships outside of marriage like feeling a high at being able to get away with something without getting caught; exploring their own sexuality who are unable to find it within themselves due to religious upbringing; wanting attention and validation through infidelity, etc.
This type of behavior is harmful to the spouse, but often it will serve as a warning that marriage counseling should be sought. If this goes untreated and continues for an extended period of time, then many consequences can happen such as: marital infidelity; emotional abuse or neglect by one partner towards another (often factors that lead to divorce); sexual dysfunction in one or both partners due to repeated intimacy with someone outside the relationship without protection etc.
Many extramarital affairs are long-term relationships because they become entangled emotionally over time and so instead of ending them abruptly when they would otherwise have done, people continue on until something else happens – like getting caught out. In these cases, there’s usually no need for forgiveness between spouses because the affair was established with the full knowledge and consent of one or both partners.
Reasons Why Some Affairs Last for Years
Long-term affairs can persist for several reasons, often complex and multifaceted:
- Emotional Fulfillment: A primary reason is emotional connection. The affair partner may provide understanding, support, and companionship that’s missing in the person’s primary relationship.
- Dissatisfaction: Marital or relationship dissatisfaction is a common trigger. Unresolved issues, lack of intimacy, or ongoing conflicts can drive individuals to seek fulfillment elsewhere.
- Lack of Consequences: If a person feels that they can maintain the affair without significant risk of exposure or negative consequences, they may continue it for an extended period.
- Complacency: Some individuals become complacent or comfortable with the affair. They may rationalize their actions or believe they can sustain both relationships indefinitely.
- Love and Attachment: Deep emotional attachment and love can develop in affairs, making it challenging to end them, especially when genuine feelings are involved.
- Shared History: Long-term affairs may evolve from shared history or a long-standing friendship, creating a strong bond that is difficult to break.
- Escapism: Affairs can serve as an escape from life’s stressors, offering a temporary retreat from responsibilities and problems.
- Low Risk of Discovery: If a person can maintain discretion and secrecy, they may feel emboldened to continue the affair without fear of their partner finding out.
- Fear of Change: Ending an affair may necessitate making significant life changes, such as divorce. Fear of these changes can deter individuals from ending the affair.
- Validation and Self-Esteem: The attention and validation received from an affair partner can boost self-esteem and provide a sense of desirability.
- Sexual Fulfillment: Sexual compatibility can be a driving factor. If the affair partner fulfills sexual desires that are lacking in the primary relationship, it can be difficult to let go.
- External Influences: External factors like social circles, shared friends, or professional connections can complicate ending an affair.
- Children: Concern for the impact on children, especially in the case of married individuals, can deter them from ending the affair, as they may want to maintain stability in their family life.
- Inertia: Over time, inertia can set in, making it progressively harder to break off the affair and make changes.
Do Cheaters Feel Guilt?
No one knows for certain why a person cheats. Experts believe it could be because they want to feel alive and have something different, or maybe they are in love with being in love – meaning their relationship may not thrive but it still gives them what they need.”
In some cases, cheating might happen to fulfill the emotional needs of an individual who would rather endure an unsatisfactory marriage than go through the emotional upheaval of divorce. Or someone might choose to cheat on his spouse so he can punish her for treating him like “her boy,” as James Thurber famously put it.”
“Some experts also claim that men hope their wives will catch them out so she’ll stop mistreating him and start respecting him again.”
References:
https://www.marriage.com/advice/infidelity/why-do-some-affairs-last-for-years/
https://www.momjunction.com/articles/reasons-why-do-some-affairs-last-for-years_00797868/
