Last Updated on September 28, 2023 by Reiner Chase
Dating can be challenging if you have negative feelings towards men. It’s essential to address those feelings first through self-reflection or therapy before attempting to date, ensuring healthier, more positive interactions.
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Why do Women Hate Men
People’s feelings and attitudes are highly individual and complex. However, some women may have negative feelings or experiences related to men for various reasons:
- Past Trauma or Abuse: Some women may have experienced traumatic or abusive relationships with men, which can lead to deep-seated resentment or fear. Such experiences can have a lasting impact on one’s perception of men and relationships.
- Societal and Cultural Influences: Societal norms and cultural influences can perpetuate stereotypes, sexism, and misogyny. Women who have encountered these biases may develop negative perceptions of men as a result.
- Gender Inequality: The persistence of gender inequality in various aspects of life, such as the workplace, can lead to frustration and resentment among women. Unfair treatment or limited opportunities based on gender can contribute to negative feelings towards men.
- Personal Experiences: Negative personal experiences with men, such as failed relationships or hurtful interactions, can influence attitudes. These experiences may lead some women to generalize their negative feelings to all men.
- Media Portrayal: Media depictions of men in negative or stereotypical ways can shape perceptions. If women are consistently exposed to harmful stereotypes, it can impact their attitudes towards men.
- Frustration with Patriarchy: Some women may feel frustrated with patriarchal structures and systems that have historically oppressed and marginalized women. This frustration may lead to negative feelings towards men who are seen as benefiting from these systems.
- Misandry: While relatively rare, some women may indeed hold misandrist views, which involve a general dislike or prejudice against men. However, it’s essential to emphasize that this is not representative of all women and is a minority perspective.
How to overcome hatred toward men
You need to work on how you feel towards men before you can even think of dating them. It is essential to work on your feelings for your healing. Overcoming the hatred towards men will also help you enjoy peace of mind. For you to overcome your hatred towards men, you first have to find the root cause of your hatred. Your feeling of anger and hatred is justified, and it was probably caused by experience. Maybe you were sexually assaulted by men in the past. Maybe your previous male partners lied to you and cheated on you, or perhaps you have been victimized and objectified by men before. We have a step-by-step exercise that we suggest you try out to help you get over the hatred and anger. Healing may take some time, but you will eventually find it.
1. Acknowledge the reasons why your hatred is upheld and write them down
This is the first and most crucial step towards your healing. During this step, you are required to be as honest and as mean as you can be. Take a piece of paper and write down all of the bad things that men did and hurt you. Make sure you do not hold back any of your feelings or try to justify anything that was done to you. Avoid softening statements that make your feelings less valid. For example, if your father hurt you, do not be tempted to write, “but he wanted the best for me.” Go all out and uncensored. This process might take some time depending on your experience, but make sure you explore every moment that you remember being hurt by a man.In this step, allow yourself to experience the feelings you have associated with these events. Allow tears to flow freely when you feel like crying; make sure you release the emotions practically as opposed to just picturing the events in your mind. Doing this enables the energy to move through you.
2. Make a list of all the things you have done to hurt men and ways that you compare similarly to men.
Most people admit that this is the hardest step of the exercise. Taking ownership of these things even if you rationalize them as justifiable helps you identify how you project the hatred. Be thorough and honest in this step and overcome the ego and blame game that makes you see men as the problem—making a list of the similar bad traits you have as men helps you integrate with the ‘enemy’ and enables you to resolve the issues within.
3. For a moment, meditate on the men who hurt you as innocent.
This step helps you to overcome the beliefs that your ego holds deeply against men. In this step, take a moment to meditate on the person that hurt you as being innocent. If they are multiple men, make time to meditate on each of them. Imagine what it would be like if they were better people.
4. Make a conscious effort to recognize instances where men are great role models.
This step is designed to help you erase any cognitive bias that you might be having. Make it a habit to recognize and appreciate every moment a man exceeds your expectations in positive ways. This will help you start believing that after all, men aren’t bad people.
After this exercise, you will be able to tolerate men and seek to see them as lovable. When you have reached this point, it is now easy for you to date and find love. Here are a few dating tips for you:
- Be yourself- do not be afraid of expressing your true self. Do not settle for less, and this will make it easier for you to choose the right partner for you.
- Have an open mind- when finding a partner, try not to project your insecurities on them but rather seek to know them as a person.
- Have fun- having previous bad experiences could make you get into a relationship with tension and unrealistic expectations. Try as much as you can to have fun and enjoy each moment.
We wish you all the luck in your new venture of finding love.
References:
https://www.elitedaily.com/p/how-to-date-men-when-you-hate-men-according-to-blythe-roberson-17136685
