Why Don’t Guys Approach Me (And What A Girl Should Do)?

Last Updated on March 6, 2021 by

Guys might not approach you because of multiple reasons. It could be your attitude or fear of rejection. However, a girl can make some changes to her attitude and approach to get the right guy.

Insecurities are an inherent part of our lives. Growing up, I had friends who would wonder why guys didn’t approach them. Pretty dresses, make-up, and pondering over texts didn’t change their relationship status.

If you are beautiful and still don’t get a date as easy as it should be, you might want to change the attitude a bit. The shortage of men is a myth. You can prove this fact by the sheer number of women in a relationship with the men of their dreams.

Most men look for more than what meets the eye. You might be the prettiest girl in the room, and yet your offensive body language could turn them off. My takeaway from the collective experiences says that you need to address a few issues. Here are a few tips I would give to you to make a guy approach you most effortlessly: –

Why Don't Guys Approach Me

Your Body Language:

Your body language is the first thing men notice. Well, not first, but you get my point. If you carry yourself in a way that gives out a bad vibe, men usually interpret as attention-seeking or clingy. Too loud, too pompous or ostentatious, and men will turn around and run.

Similarly, if you are shy and timidly and awkwardly, guys will rethink again and again before talking to you. If you are hiding from the world, you can’t expect anyone to find you.

My point is, your body language says everything about you and a little fine-tuning hurt nobody. Under confidence and arrogance are turns offs. Imagine if the roles were reversed?


If you are a woman, they expect you to gossip, complaint, and talk crap about how sad your single life is. But guess what? Nobody wants to hear that. Especially a guy who wants to take you out.

Manipulating a guy into giving you want isn’t the way. A complaining girl is seen as arm candy, and that is the best-case scenario here. A guy will not compromise his style and social standing with a girl who trash-talks and whine about dating and men.

Cut the guy some slack and be nice. It doesn’t take much to give him a chance. That’s the way things move forward.

A Desperate Vibe:

Another major turnoff is acting like you want the guy just because you’re single, desperate, and emotionally wreck. Men don’t buy that. It’s the worst kind of emotional baggage to deal with.

Belief in yourself and what you deserve. Face them head-on but not in an arrogant way. When you pretend to be desperate, men equalize it with low standards. And that is not the right stance to have.

The constant feeling of being validated and assured and the anxiety in the absence of such an attitude is another major problem you might want to take care of. Men hate it because they have had their fair share of trauma with needy women.

Notice Men Who Are Interested In You:

There are a lot of men who would like to date you. Some are desperate and needy and don’t deserve your attention. Most women don’t meet the social standards of beauty and perfect figures, yet the right kind of men approach them.

The secret is straightforward. You notice men who are genuinely interested in you. Picking up the wrong men because of insecurities and desperation will land you right back to the same vicious cycle of toxic relationships. Give these men a chance, and be receptive to their attention. You might land yourself a gem.

A competitive And Aggressive Attitude:

All men work similarly. They want what they can’t have, and you have to be the one they can’t have. Talk about your experiences and knowledge but be reserved. Talk more only when poked or prodded and only if you’re comfortable.

Making it evident that you want to date a guy isn’t going to help you either. Being aggressive about the female gaze he receives or competitive about how much better you are than the rest of them is a big issue. How about you be the mystery everyone wants to unravel?

What Men Might Lack:

The guy might not be approaching you because he is intimidated by you. It is not always your fault, you see.

Too Classy For Him:

A lot of men want to settle for less because that means less work on his part. You might be the perfect woman out there. Your unmatched talent, education, and wit will not allow them to approach you. In this case, they might feel insecure and not enough.

The critical thing to remember is that you mustn’t shed your sophistication to please them. Wait for the right man and believe that he will walk into your center of gravity soon enough.

He Is Worried About Competition:

If you are just the girl every guy wants, you will not be approached by all of them. A guy might think that he will have to evade a lot of competition to get access to you and again, too much work.

But if you feel that the guy might be right for you, leave him subtle hints. Don’t be competitive or aggressive but try to strike a conversation or prefer his company over his other buddies. There is a fine line between subtle and desperate and make sure you don’t cross them.

You’re Not An Easy Catch:

A classy woman knows her worth, and if you are around lazy men, you might not get approached at all because you are way above their standards. Stay away from the twerps who want an easy catch. Your sass might save you a lot of time and emotional trauma.

Guys like these want the easy way out and would prefer to be chased and depended on. However, your challenging and subversive self is exactly what they are NOT looking for.

They Are Afraid Of Rejection:

The worst thing you can do to a man’s ego is to reject his proposal. Most men have been turned down repeatedly, and the fear of rejection is real and traumatic. If he has seen you reject other men he equates himself with, the fear gets more and more real.

Your vibe might also give him this idea. If you are paying attention to someone else or ignoring him completely, he will not approach you. Pull out your best flirting attitude and send across the message that you’re interested. Shoot your shot when there’s still time. Men move on pretty quickly, thanks to their insecurities, low EQ, and issues.

How To Make A Guy Approach You?

Dating isn’t a cakewalk. Our eyes are glued to the phone, and we often miss our potential match. However, along with your attitude, a wardrobe change might help you grab someone’s attention just as quickly. Make them come to you because we both know you deserve all the attention.

Female energy is all about receiving, whereas men want to be the provider. Put your dating needs at the forefront.

1. Be at your best- There is more to people than looks, but the first thing a man notices is your looks. There’s nothing wrong with it because the visual aspect is just as important. Are you aware of drop-dead gorgeous? Well, pay a little attention to your hair and make-up. Be presentable and wear clothes you are comfortable in. This attribute will give you natural confidence and style.

2. Stand up Straight- Men dig confident women, especially ones who know how to carry their insecurities and flaws. Correct your posture by standing straight. However, also stay relaxed to elude confidence and class. Working on your posture is the primary step in a lot of scenarios. So win-win!

3. Body language is essential- Body language gives signals that can be interpreted in a lot of ways. Men might not seem vigilant, but they are. Your body language will tell you if they should approach you. Sit casually, and don’t give any message that puts them off. Your heart chakra must be open to interaction and appreciation to give a positive vibe.

4. Stay away from your phone- Not all men want you to look at your phone as they make a move on you. So, unless you are in a meaningful conversation, put that phone away.

5. Smile- Smiling is the best way to enhance your beauty. It also makes you approachable with the friendly aura it lends. Avoid a resting bitch face because that will not help your cause at all.

6. Go with one friend– If you are not comfortable going out to find potential matches alone, take a friend along, But avoid packs and groups that might spoil your appearance and attitude.

7. Make Eye Contact– If you are interested in a guy, make eye contact. This contact will send a clear message that you’re interested in. It makes the approach scenario easy for both parties.

8. Pretend to know him– Try to read his body language and gel with his vibe. A great ice-breaker is to mistake him for someone else. It might sound awkward, but it is a great conversation starter. Be bold. Men adore that aspect.

9. Positive Energy– Talk, laugh, and enjoy, but most importantly, be happy and comfortable in your skin. There is nothing more favorable than a woman who radiated positive energy.

10. Laugh– Laughter is the sign of a happy person. Laugh out loud and tell them that you are in a mood to get coy. Laughing removes the awkwardness of the first approach. He might strike a conversation that way.

11. Flirt– Put yourself out there. There is nothing wrong with flirting. Flirting makes you available in the market and gets the job done faster. Besides, your style of flirting says a lot about your personality.

12. Have a vision– You need to be clear about what you want from this relationship. Whether it is a one-night stand or a long-term relationship, you should communicate initially.

13. Make a list– Once you are sure about what you want from a potential partner, put it down on paper. That way, you won’t let your emotions get in the way of your dating. Writing it down also gives you a clearer perspective.

14. Know Yourself– Most men want to know you right away. To sound more proactive, you need to know who you are. Put your best in front of them. Engage and ask questions.

15. Social Skills– Social skills aren’t just communication. The way you carry yourself, eat your food and behave in a particular situation, an observant eye notices them all. If you want to stand out, polish those skills, and present the best version of yourself.

16. Patience- A virtue that you need to equip yourself with if you’re in the dating game. Finding the right person takes time, and impatience will label you as desperate. Hang in there and let the right man come to you.

17. Be Prepared– Drop off your emotional baggage before entering the dating game. You don’t want that from your partner, and you shouldn’t bring the same into the equation.

18. Be Realistic– Have a practical approach and deceit if the plunge is worth taking. Dating can get taxing if you aren’t realistic about it.

19. Optimism- Have a positive outlook, even if the date isn’t going well. Every experience is a learning process, and you will end up learning a lot from them.

20. Be Informed– Try to know more about the person who approaches you. If they are shady about their whereabouts, they might not be worth your time.

Top 7 Things A Guy Wants Mostly From A Girl

1.You ThinkShe Feels.
2.You approach and court.She Sits Back and Accepts.
3.You Base Decisions On Facts and Experience.She Bases Decisions on Emotions and expectations.
4.You Say You Like/Love Her.She Tests To See If You Like/Love Her.
5.You State Your Needs.She Makes You Figure Out Her Needs.
6.You Have To Lead.She Gets to Follow.
7.You Want Sex.She Withholds Sex.
8.You Think Sex is Primarily Physical.Sher Thinks Sex Is Primarily Emotional.
9.You Don’t Read Minds.She Thinks She Does.

Frequently Asked Questions:-

Q1: If Men don’t approach me, does that mean I am ugly?

Absolutely not. It just means you are not surrounded by the right kind of men, or need to tune yourself a bit. Ask yourself if any of the above thighs you need to implement in your life.

Q2: Everyone says I’m pretty and cute, but no one approaches me. Guys just stare at me and do nothing. Are they possibly intimidated or afraid of me?

That is actually a possibility but there is nothing wrong to be intimidating. However, if you feel like making a change, laugh and flirt a little. That will ensure you’re approachable no matter what.

Q3: Why do I get told I’m beautiful, yet men don’t notice me?

They might be repulsed by your body language, or hesitant to approach because of competition. If you have eyes for a man, make eye contact and let him know that you’re open to conversations.

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